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Free_Kobe
Franchise Player
Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13197
Location: @ the beach
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 Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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| mike_dee23 wrote: | | Did you hear that thump? Well, my c##k just hit the floor. |
Cook?
Cork?
-Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose. Take off your clothes.
-Hey I see you are wearing clothes. I'm wearing clothes. I didn't realize we had so much in common!
-(Look down at your crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
-I'm invisible. (Really?) Well, can you see me? (Yes.) How about tomorrow night?
-That shirt has got to go... but you can stay!
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫
Last edited by Free_Kobe on Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:38 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Daniel0501
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Joined: 14 Jun 2010
Posts: 848
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| Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:54 pm Post subject: |
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Excuse me ma'am, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
(she looks confused or says she doesn't know)
Enough to break the ice. I'm (insert name here). |
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Conker
Franchise Player
Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 13056
Location: MDC
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| Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 8:32 am Post subject: |
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I like my women just like my coffee. Dark and sweet.
_________________
(❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽ |
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Kobe_Bryant
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Joined: 29 Aug 2005
Posts: 149
Location: Slovenia
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| Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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Haha, some are very good. I should try them sometime  |
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axs
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Joined: 30 Nov 2008
Posts: 853
Location: SF Valley, CA.
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| Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:13 am Post subject: |
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| Daniel0501 wrote: | Excuse me ma'am, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
(she looks confused or says she doesn't know)
Enough to break the ice. I'm (insert name here). |
 Crazy enough to work. |
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Axl Rose
Starting Rotation
Joined: 01 Dec 2010
Posts: 403
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| Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 9:01 pm Post subject: |
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| "Look, I'm not a cool guy or anything, and I haven't been on a date in a year and a half, but I would love to waste your time for a couple of hours." - Larry David |
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JerryMagicKobe
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Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 15101
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| Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:39 pm Post subject: |
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| msb212 wrote: | My classic (now retired) has been used to great success over the years:
(Note that this is not recommended as the opening gambit, but better used a bit later once conversation has been established)
To the TWO girls you are with:
"I think the three of us make a lovely couple..."
Trust me on this. it works  |
This one made a lasting impression on me and I use it whenever my wife is talking with one of her cute friends at a party. Last time was New Years Eve, and I always enjoy where it takes the conversation.
Thanks msb! |
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Conker
Franchise Player
Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 13056
Location: MDC
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| Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Daniel0501 wrote: | Excuse me ma'am, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
(she looks confused or says she doesn't know)
Enough to break the ice. I'm (insert name here). |
I just heard that from the movie trailer of "Hall Pass." 
_________________
(❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽ |
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Free_Kobe
Franchise Player
Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13197
Location: @ the beach
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| Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 6:49 am Post subject: |
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| Conker wrote: | | Daniel0501 wrote: | Excuse me ma'am, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
(she looks confused or says she doesn't know)
Enough to break the ice. I'm (insert name here). |
I just heard that from the movie trailer of "Hall Pass." |
Yeah! they totally stole your line bro! 
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫ |
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Conker
Franchise Player
Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 13056
Location: MDC
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| Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:12 pm Post subject: |
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are you an alien? because you just abducted my heart.
_________________
(❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽ |
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TheRod
Star Player
Joined: 24 Dec 2003
Posts: 2019
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| Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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Want to go grab a pizza, then head back to my place and have sex?
(After she slaps you) What? You don't like pizza? |
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K-B_2-4
Starting Rotation
Joined: 22 Sep 2010
Posts: 939
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 12:53 pm Post subject: Re: Funniest/Best Pick-Up Lines |
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LMFAO!!!! ! ! !! ! ! ! !!! ! ! ! !
all of these a GREAT!!! ]
this one... this one takes the cake.!
| Free_Kobe wrote: | the funniest one i've heard...
-excuse me, does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?
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Omar Little
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Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 90557
Location: Formerly Known As 24
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| Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:19 pm Post subject: |
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| TheRod wrote: | Want to go grab a pizza, then head back to my place and have sex?
(After she slaps you) What? You don't like pizza? |
Maybe it was just disappointment, since she likes extra pepperoni?
_________________
“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” ― Elie Wiesel |
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AllorNothing
Franchise Player
Joined: 08 Oct 2001
Posts: 18448
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| Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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| You look fat. |
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K-B_2-4
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Joined: 22 Sep 2010
Posts: 939
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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| Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:46 am Post subject: |
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| AllorNothing wrote: | | You look fat. |
strangely enough,,.. this could work |
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Conker
Franchise Player
Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 13056
Location: MDC
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| Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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Life without you is like a broken pencil... pointless.
_________________
(❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽ |
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Free_Kobe
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Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13197
Location: @ the beach
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| Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 6:19 am Post subject: |
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| Conker wrote: | | Life without you is like a broken pencil... pointless. |
You should've went with "boobs without nipples"...
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫ |
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jamas33
Star Player
Joined: 28 Jun 2001
Posts: 3369
Location: Lake Minnetonka
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| Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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point at her crotch and say..." Its a beautiful evening and I was wondering if I can have some of that P*$*Y There..." The pointing is the key... It has to be like when you are in a cafeteria line and you point out the food to the cafeteria worker... Its assumed that you are gonna get it so you have to point at her crotch with meaning...
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Want Some Pancakes? |
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JerryMagicKobe
Moderator
Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 15101
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| Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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| jamas33 wrote: | | point at her crotch and say..." Its a beautiful evening and I was wondering if I can have some of that P*$*Y There..." The pointing is the key... It has to be like when you are in a cafeteria line and you point out the food to the cafeteria worker... Its assumed that you are gonna get it so you have to point at her crotch with meaning... |
Do I have to point with my finger? |
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Conker
Franchise Player
Joined: 09 Jun 2010
Posts: 13056
Location: MDC
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| Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 2:56 pm Post subject: |
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| JerryMagicKobe wrote: | | jamas33 wrote: | | point at her crotch and say..." Its a beautiful evening and I was wondering if I can have some of that P*$*Y There..." The pointing is the key... It has to be like when you are in a cafeteria line and you point out the food to the cafeteria worker... Its assumed that you are gonna get it so you have to point at her crotch with meaning... |
Do I have to point with my finger? |
Or I have to point with The Thing?
_________________
(❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽ |
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jamas33
Star Player
Joined: 28 Jun 2001
Posts: 3369
Location: Lake Minnetonka
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 1:18 am Post subject: |
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_________________
Want Some Pancakes? |
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Free_Kobe
Franchise Player
Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13197
Location: @ the beach
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| Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 1:23 pm Post subject: |
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If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫ |
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Free_Kobe
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Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 13197
Location: @ the beach
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| Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2016 6:33 am Post subject: |
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-Do you work at Starbucks? Because I've bean thinking about you a latte!
-Are you from Calcutta? Because I've been trying to get India pants!
-Are you an atom or molecule? cuz I have my ion you!
-Do you like Raisins? -No? How about a Date?
_________________
♪ ♫One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain...
So hit me with music! ♪ ♫ |
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