Mr Fast Break:
The guy who pushes the ball on every possession even if he doesn't have numbers. Then yells at his teammates for not running back with him.
Takes it easy on defense because hes saving energy for his one man fast break.
Runs out of energy in the middle of the game
Also the guy who won't call fouls, gets hammered on every play but is too manly to call a foul cause this is street basketball. (That ones me.)
I'm the same, I almost never call the foul because I'm concentrating really hard on making the shot. Then if I got fouled people get pissed cause sometimes I'll call it really late or let other people call it for me. I guess it sucks but I guess I do it because I hate Mr. Up Tops.
Mr Fast Break:
The guy who pushes the ball on every possession even if he doesn't have numbers. Then yells at his teammates for not running back with him.
Takes it easy on defense because hes saving energy for his one man fast break.
Runs out of energy in the middle of the game
Also the guy who won't call fouls, gets hammered on every play but is too manly to call a foul cause this is street basketball. (That ones me.)
I'm the same, I almost never call the foul because I'm concentrating really hard on making the shot. Then if I got fouled people get pissed cause sometimes I'll call it really late or let other people call it for me. I guess it sucks but I guess I do it because I hate Mr. Up Tops.
Joined: 15 Nov 2006 Posts: 19879 Location: Prarie & Manchester, high above the western sideline
Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:23 am Post subject:
The Magician
How did we forget this guy? I make it my duty to call out the score, loudly, after every made basket or dead ball, as a deterrant to any would-be Magician looking to wave his wand at the count, making points appear out of nowhere for his team's score or making them suddenly disappear from your team's. The Magician will try to play it off as an honest mistake but playing with him on separate occasions lets you see that his magic is nothing more than an illusion. The Magician causes frequent disputes over the score that result in lengthy and annoying stoppages in play. On some occasions, a Wizard makes an appearance and casts spells on everyone on the court, convincing them that yes, his team does have 4, not 0.
"What'sa count?"
Magician: "7-4"
"Dafuq? How yall got four? We stole all yall inbounds passes."
How did we forget this guy? I make it my duty to call out the score, loudly, after every made basket or dead ball, as a deterrant to any would-be Magician looking to wave his wand at the count, making points appear out of nowhere for his team's score or making them suddenly disappear from your team's. The Magician will try to play it off as an honest mistake but playing with him on separate occasions lets you see that his magic is nothing more than an illusion. The Magician causes frequent disputes over the score that result in lengthy and annoying stoppages in play. On some occasions, a Wizard makes an appearance and casts spells on everyone on the court, convincing them that yes, his team does have 4, not 0.
"What'sa count?"
Magician: "7-4"
"Dafuq? How yall got four? We stole all yall inbounds passes."
Wizard: "Nah."
"Aight. 7-4."
I played with one last week. I kept score in my head but would still ask once in awhile and get answers like 6-5 when the score was really like 7-3 us. I hate people that cheat.
While on the subject of cheaters and cheap play there's a few that come to mind:
The Wannabe DPOY- who says "no easy buckets" and then proceeds to go all hack a shaq on anyone who gets into the paint. His response when he's called out for his cheap play is either denying the foul or repeating his mantra "no easy buckets". The game winds up being excruciatingly long to where people will just stop driving near him or just play through the fouls.
Neo from the Matrix- the ball never goes off of him and out of bounds. Even if everyone sees it go off of him he claims that it's just that our eyes aren't quick enough to see his lighten fast reflexes dodge the ball in the last millisecond.
Mr. 3 point contest/Rasheed Wallace- this guys has a great shot when not guarded but in the game he is worse than 2009 Sasha. Since he can't buy a bucket or defend his man he will start to call bogus fouls, traveling and out of bounds. He will of course get an argument everytime but then will ask to shoot for it and since he's not being guarded he'll usually make it followed by saying "ball don't lie".
How did we forget this guy? I make it my duty to call out the score, loudly, after every made basket or dead ball, as a deterrant to any would-be Magician looking to wave his wand at the count, making points appear out of nowhere for his team's score or making them suddenly disappear from your team's. The Magician will try to play it off as an honest mistake but playing with him on separate occasions lets you see that his magic is nothing more than an illusion. The Magician causes frequent disputes over the score that result in lengthy and annoying stoppages in play. On some occasions, a Wizard makes an appearance and casts spells on everyone on the court, convincing them that yes, his team does have 4, not 0.
"What'sa count?"
Magician: "7-4"
"Dafuq? How yall got four? We stole all yall inbounds passes."
Wizard: "Nah."
"Aight. 7-4."
this is too funny. these guys never fail to make an appearance on the playground.
i played with one before who would keep saying we were behind, by a lot. he'd say the score was 8-3 for example when i know i already scored 4 points (we all keep track of how much we score). and it's not like i've been the only one who scored for my team. what makes it so ironic is that this dude was playing on my team
and what do you call blackholes who are never embarrassed to shoot the ball even when they'd made less than 10% of their shots? we played ball earlier with guys we've never seen before. we shot for teams, so i wasn't able to team up with my friends. and i had 3 guys on my team who would jack up shot after shot once they got the ball hitting their shots at an alarming 20% i guess. but we won the game still. because the other team had 2 guys who did the same, while shooting even poorly.
and what do you call blackholes who are never embarrassed to shoot the ball even when they'd made less than 10% of their shots? we played ball earlier with guys we've never seen before. we shot for teams, so i wasn't able to team up with my friends. and i had 3 guys on my team who would jack up shot after shot once they got the ball hitting their shots at an alarming 20% i guess. but we won the game still. because the other team had 2 guys who did the same, while shooting even poorly.
My team's gym is under construction for the summer, so the best option we've been able to find are the outdoor courts at USC. I've taken the opportunity to shot chart all of my guys and some of the regulars that everyone thinks is good. (yes, I'm actually charting shots in pickup games, which probably should earn me an appearance in this thread)
It's been a great way to point out reality to several of my guys. I have a couple of guys that fancy themselves as good mid range shooters, and I'm able to say, "Ya, well over the summer you're 4-32 from that range." While I don't believe that those numbers tell the entire story, it has already helped to curtail some bad-decision making, and that will hopefully help us out in Summer League and when the games actually matter in the Fall.
Joined: 15 Nov 2006 Posts: 19879 Location: Prarie & Manchester, high above the western sideline
Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 4:18 pm Post subject:
The Spy
I hate this guy even more than I hate Mr. Up Top. He's not on your team. But that won't stop him from calling for the ball every time your team is on offense, especially when you're trapped in a crowd after picking up your dribble, hoping to take advantage of the lack of familiarity between the players on the court and completely bypassing the unwritten rules of pickup sportsmanship. Sometimes he'll call even your name. "He knows my name! I'm safe!" Then you pass him the ball near half court line, and he'll jog into a game-winning layup while his teammates laugh and your teammates seeth. This is effective in several ways: it makes your teammates hate each other, especially you, and it makes you second-guess your passing which should be beneficial, but instead it just makes you even more confused and less confident, taking you out of the game completely. _________________ http://chickhearn.ytmnd.com/
I hate this guy even more than I hate Mr. Up Top. He's not on your team. But that won't stop him from calling for the ball every time your team is on offense, especially when you're trapped in a crowd after picking up your dribble, hoping to take advantage of the lack of familiarity between the players on the court and completely bypassing the unwritten rules of pickup sportsmanship. Sometimes he'll call even your name. "He knows my name! I'm safe!" Then you pass him the ball near half court line, and he'll jog into a game-winning layup while his teammates laugh and your teammates seeth. This is effective in several ways: it makes your teammates hate each other, especially you, and it makes you second-guess your passing which should be beneficial, but instead it just makes you even more confused and less confident, taking you out of the game completely.
And here I thought I was the only one who was annoyed by "The Spy".
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 20510 Location: UCLA -> NY
Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:32 pm Post subject:
The "Hey, I'm on your team!" Guy
Grade A douche. Why you ask? He's the guy on the other team who keeps saying "I'm open", "Pass", "Up top", and "Over here" while sticking his hands out like he's anticipating you passing it to him when you have the ball. Is that really going to work? No. So quit it. Usually performed by short and/or skinny Asian kids who normally won't get the ball when they are on offense. Also claps before demanding the ball. Thinks he's the coolest cat on the court and walks like it.
I hate this guy even more than I hate Mr. Up Top. He's not on your team. But that won't stop him from calling for the ball every time your team is on offense, especially when you're trapped in a crowd after picking up your dribble, hoping to take advantage of the lack of familiarity between the players on the court and completely bypassing the unwritten rules of pickup sportsmanship. Sometimes he'll call even your name. "He knows my name! I'm safe!" Then you pass him the ball near half court line, and he'll jog into a game-winning layup while his teammates laugh and your teammates seeth. This is effective in several ways: it makes your teammates hate each other, especially you, and it makes you second-guess your passing which should be beneficial, but instead it just makes you even more confused and less confident, taking you out of the game completely.
God, I hate that. Especially sucks when you're playing with a bunch of guys you don't know. I've lost count of the number of times I've gotten a defensive rebound, and hear a "Woot! Woot!" or an "Outlet!" or an "I'm open!" and I throw the ball down court only to watch the guy take it and dribble it back up while laughing. I'll generally laugh along and then hip check him the next time he drives.
I hate this guy even more than I hate Mr. Up Top. He's not on your team. But that won't stop him from calling for the ball every time your team is on offense, especially when you're trapped in a crowd after picking up your dribble, hoping to take advantage of the lack of familiarity between the players on the court and completely bypassing the unwritten rules of pickup sportsmanship. Sometimes he'll call even your name. "He knows my name! I'm safe!" Then you pass him the ball near half court line, and he'll jog into a game-winning layup while his teammates laugh and your teammates seeth. This is effective in several ways: it makes your teammates hate each other, especially you, and it makes you second-guess your passing which should be beneficial, but instead it just makes you even more confused and less confident, taking you out of the game completely.
God, I hate that. Especially sucks when you're playing with a bunch of guys you don't know. I've lost count of the number of times I've gotten a defensive rebound, and hear a "Woot! Woot!" or an "Outlet!" or an "I'm open!" and I throw the ball down court only to watch the guy take it and dribble it back up while laughing. I'll generally laugh along and then hip check him the next time he drives.
this dude smells blood whenever there's a sub, never failing to take advantage of the sub's unfamiliarity with his teammates. he starts waving like a maniac the moment the sub touches the rock, and 80% of the time he succeeds. and be rest assured, he will do it again and again as long as someone keeps falling for it.
I hate this guy even more than I hate Mr. Up Top. He's not on your team. But that won't stop him from calling for the ball every time your team is on offense, especially when you're trapped in a crowd after picking up your dribble, hoping to take advantage of the lack of familiarity between the players on the court and completely bypassing the unwritten rules of pickup sportsmanship. Sometimes he'll call even your name. "He knows my name! I'm safe!" Then you pass him the ball near half court line, and he'll jog into a game-winning layup while his teammates laugh and your teammates seeth. This is effective in several ways: it makes your teammates hate each other, especially you, and it makes you second-guess your passing which should be beneficial, but instead it just makes you even more confused and less confident, taking you out of the game completely.
God, I hate that. Especially sucks when you're playing with a bunch of guys you don't know. I've lost count of the number of times I've gotten a defensive rebound, and hear a "Woot! Woot!" or an "Outlet!" or an "I'm open!" and I throw the ball down court only to watch the guy take it and dribble it back up while laughing. I'll generally laugh along and then hip check him the next time he drives.
this dude smells blood whenever there's a sub, never failing to take advantage of the sub's unfamiliarity with his teammates. he starts waving like a maniac the moment the sub touches the rock, and 80% of the time he succeeds. and be rest assured, he will do it again and again as long as someone keeps falling for it.
There's been time where I get pissed off with that crap and I just want to throw a full force chest pass right at their gut the next time they ask for it. That'd stop them from doing that.
That overweight sweaty no-shirt hairy guy that you have to guard. Ben Stiller got this one. _________________ (❍ᴥ❍ʋ) ʕʘᴥʘʔ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) (┛◉Д◉)┛( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽
and how could we all forget the screamer. you just left someone in the dust and about to coast for an easy layup. and this dude just, well screams at the top of his lungs hoping to distract you enough to blow the layup. sadly for him this rarely works. and even if it does, you're still there to make the easy putback. but it can get really annoying when the screamer goes way overboard and screams on each and every play (even when someone shoots a jumpshot.)
and there's this other dude, who i don't have a name for yet, who has been trying to beat his man off the dribble without success. and all of a sudden his eyes open wide as he points at something. "damn! check out that girl's rack!" everyone, including his own teammates, turn to look, while he drives to the basket for the uncontested layup.
Joined: 27 Apr 2011 Posts: 4381 Location: San Diego, CA
Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 2:12 am Post subject:
C M B wrote:
The Spy
I hate this guy even more than I hate Mr. Up Top. He's not on your team. But that won't stop him from calling for the ball every time your team is on offense, especially when you're trapped in a crowd after picking up your dribble, hoping to take advantage of the lack of familiarity between the players on the court and completely bypassing the unwritten rules of pickup sportsmanship. Sometimes he'll call even your name. "He knows my name! I'm safe!" Then you pass him the ball near half court line, and he'll jog into a game-winning layup while his teammates laugh and your teammates seeth. This is effective in several ways: it makes your teammates hate each other, especially you, and it makes you second-guess your passing which should be beneficial, but instead it just makes you even more confused and less confident, taking you out of the game completely.
Joined: 27 Apr 2011 Posts: 4381 Location: San Diego, CA
Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 2:13 am Post subject:
akbroker wrote:
and how could we all forget the screamer. you just left someone in the dust and about to coast for an easy layup. and this dude just, well screams at the top of his lungs hoping to distract you enough to blow the layup. sadly for him this rarely works. and even if it does, you're still there to make the easy putback. but it can get really annoying when the screamer goes way overboard and screams on each and every play (even when someone shoots a jumpshot.)
and there's this other dude, who i don't have a name for yet, who has been trying to beat his man off the dribble without success. and all of a sudden his eyes open wide as he points at something. "damn! check out that girl's rack!" everyone, including his own teammates, turn to look, while he drives to the basket for the uncontested layup.
The screamer. Who needs defense when you can just scream when someone's how about to pullup for a J. (bleep) hate those guys lmao.
and how could we all forget the screamer. you just left someone in the dust and about to coast for an easy layup. and this dude just, well screams at the top of his lungs hoping to distract you enough to blow the layup. sadly for him this rarely works. and even if it does, you're still there to make the easy putback. but it can get really annoying when the screamer goes way overboard and screams on each and every play (even when someone shoots a jumpshot.)
and there's this other dude, who i don't have a name for yet, who has been trying to beat his man off the dribble without success. and all of a sudden his eyes open wide as he points at something. "damn! check out that girl's rack!" everyone, including his own teammates, turn to look, while he drives to the basket for the uncontested layup.
Joined: 04 Jul 2009 Posts: 1578 Location: Born in Redlands,California but Reside in Houston,TX
Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 2:45 am Post subject:
I like to refer to myself as the "Metta World Peace"...guy
I wear a full uniform of my favorite team with jersey of favorite player. Have NBA socks and expensive name-brand basketball shoes. I prefer to pass on offense unless left wide open for a three pointer. I run towards the basket in hopes of getting an offensive rebound to set up a teammate and sometimes even try for a putback. On defense, I keep a close eye on the person I'm guarding while watching what ever is going on with who has the ball. I deny the person I'm guarding the ball and if they happen to get it, give them enough space to allow me to accurately contest the shot if they should shoot and be able to back pedal if they drive. I have incredible defense and will make you pay if left on a fast break 2 on 1 and your charging at me. When a pick/screen is set on me, I have zero problem shoving the screener into the shooter forcing a travel. When on defense I will go into 'Coach Mode' and tell others "scoot up" or "scoot back" or "watch the drive"...I can be effective when I feel comfortable but for the most part, if my confidence is low, I'm good for 2 pts the entire time I'm there... _________________ http://i383.photobucket.com/albums/oo278/InnocenceIsKey/3628030654_e9f0a77689_o.jpg
Joined: 15 Nov 2006 Posts: 19879 Location: Prarie & Manchester, high above the western sideline
Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 9:54 pm Post subject:
The Bust
After 9 other guys have gathered and you've been shooting around for 15 minutes or so, you've made a somewhat reliable measurement of each player's capabilities. 3 of them are bona-fide pickup anchors...including this one guy--or so you think. He passed all of the shootaround eyeball tests. New basketball shoes? Check. Basketball attire? Check. Athleticism? Check. Height? Check, check, check. His shooting form is picture perfect and his shootaround shot chart is mostly green from everywhere on the court. He even practiced some fancy dribbling that wowed you, and probably everyone else, too. It comes time to shoot for teams and you miss the freethrow, so you're on his team. Excellent...you're in the money now, boy! You can just set screens for him, hit him under the basket and get out of his way as he carries you to victory, right? Wrong. In fact, in just a few minutes, you will realize just how wrong you were.
The game begins and it's your takeout. You inbound the ball to your prized prospect and he promptly dribbles it off of his knee, out of bounds. lol! That's funny! No big deal, he's not in game mode yet! Just wait until the next possession...he'll make these other guys pay! Sadly, the only one who will end up paying is you. After a series of fumbled catches, terrible shot selection, and inexplicable bonehead passes that go into the fence, you find yourself picking up the pieces of your shattered hopes and dreams, feeling less like Rod Thorn after he drafted Michael Jordan, and more like Michael Jordan after he drafted KWame Brown.
After losing 1-12, you take a seat next to The Bust to cool off, drink some water, and shoot the breeze.
You: "Not your day today huh?"
The Bust: "Nah I played pretty well...I just picked up basketball 2 weeks ago." _________________ http://chickhearn.ytmnd.com/
Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Posts: 1890 Location: reppin Garden Grove
Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2012 1:23 am Post subject:
i am the over zealous defender on the perimeter and who sticks elbows into your rib or back when you try to post me up/love playing pick n roll or pop /not afraid to hold or grab if you are hesitant to call that/ i camp out 18 foot + till you stop paying attention then i become a 10-15 foot jump shooter and i will cut to the basket if you turn your back on me for a second / first one back on d not an offensive minded player / ill stay quiet offensively until my team needs a couple of buckets to win the game then i hit those quietly or i wont hesitate to pump fake you / or post up a smaller defender ( im 5'10)
things i am not : ball handler _________________ "I didn't mean to walk in the shower with him. Yeah, I walked in the shower. I'm not a homosexual, but Kobe - he had no clothes on." - Ron Artest
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I played with one last week. I kept score in my head but would still ask once in awhile and get answers like 6-5 when the score was really like 7-3 us. I hate people that cheat.
