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brutella
Star Player
Joined: 05 Jul 2006
Posts: 2827
Location: OC
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 Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:42 pm Post subject: Superbowl Sunday... |
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A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
"No," he says, "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"
He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1987."
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?".
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The man shakes his head. "No they're all at the funeral."
Here's another one....
Two whales, a male and a female, were swimming side by side in the ocean.
Suddenly, the male whale spots a ship in the distance. He recognizes it as the whaling ship that killed his father.
Filled with anger, he says to his female companion, "That's the ship
that killed my father! Let's swim closer!"
When they were close enough, the male said, "Why don't we swim under the ship and blow air through our blow holes and break the ship into a million pieces? That will be sweet revenge."
And the female agreed to this.
So they each took a deep breath of air, swam under the ship, and blew enormous amounts of air under the ship. The ship flew into the air and crashed back to the sea and broke into a million pieces.
The pair of whales started to swim off when they realized that the
sailors were not dead, but clinging to pieces of wood and floating in the ocean. |
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mbloves L.A.
Star Player
Joined: 21 Feb 2005
Posts: 3886
Location: Hollywood
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| Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 1:45 am Post subject: Re: Superbowl Sunday... |
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| casH wrote: | A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
"No," he says, "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"
He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1987."
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?".
.
.
The man shakes his head. "No they're all at the funeral."
Here's another one....
Two whales, a male and a female, were swimming side by side in the ocean.
Suddenly, the male whale spots a ship in the distance. He recognizes it as the whaling ship that killed his father.
Filled with anger, he says to his female companion, "That's the ship
that killed my father! Let's swim closer!"
When they were close enough, the male said, "Why don't we swim under the ship and blow air through our blow holes and break the ship into a million pieces? That will be sweet revenge."
And the female agreed to this.
So they each took a deep breath of air, swam under the ship, and blew enormous amounts of air under the ship. The ship flew into the air and crashed back to the sea and broke into a million pieces.
The pair of whales started to swim off when they realized that the
sailors were not dead, but clinging to pieces of wood and floating in the ocean. |
Heard the first one from my mom.
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Where's Cokie the Clown when you need him? |
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akk7
Star Player
Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Posts: 3013
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| Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 10:15 am Post subject: |
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I do not see the humor in the second one.  |
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20,000
Retired Number
Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 29999
Location: Likely nowhere near you
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| Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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At least casH has a nice avatar...
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Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying...'I will try again tomorrow.' |
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PLATNUM
Star Player
Joined: 17 Dec 2002
Posts: 7265
Location: L.A.
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| Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 1:10 am Post subject: Re: Superbowl Sunday... |
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| casH wrote: |
The pair of whales started to swim off when they realized that the
sailors were not dead, but clinging to pieces of wood and floating in the ocean. |
 uhhh..... am I missing something here? So they extracted revenge on the SHIP for killing the father. The sailors had nothing to do with it... ?
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"Dread it, run from it... destiny arrives all the same." |
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