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NappyFox Starting Rotation
Joined: 16 Aug 2001 Posts: 251 Location: Cali baby
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:18 pm Post subject: A little relationship help |
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Hey guys, my girlfriend of 7 years just broke it off with me last night and its just weird how when you're with them, you take advantage of them thinking they're always gonna be there for you but when they're gone you realize how good you had it. I' m bummed out right now and just needed a place to vent my frustration....any suggestion guys on how the best way to get over this? |
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ToughKarl Star Player
Joined: 09 Jun 2004 Posts: 1101 Location: Orange County
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:25 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know man. It's gonna hurt for a while, but it will hurt less and less
as each day passes. 7 year relationship is a long one, too. IMO the best
way to get over an ex-gf is getting a new one. |
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NappyFox Starting Rotation
Joined: 16 Aug 2001 Posts: 251 Location: Cali baby
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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Damn it is hard because I view her as my best friend too and it's like losing two people at one time. Another thing is that I'm business partners with her sister so we will always run into each other....well lifes a (bleep) |
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ToughKarl Star Player
Joined: 09 Jun 2004 Posts: 1101 Location: Orange County
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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NappyFox wrote: | Damn it is hard because I view her as my best friend too and it's like losing two people at one time. Another thing is that I'm business partners with her sister so we will always run into each other....well lifes a (bleep) |
Yup, I know how you feel. When my ex and I broke up, I still wanted to
be her friend, but whenever we see each other there is that awkward feeling that permeates the air. I guess you can't really be friend with your ex. I have seen it happened but it's very rare. |
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Snipes Star Player
Joined: 28 Feb 2005 Posts: 6103
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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^Im in the same (bleep) situation. It's so tough Also, the fact that I see her everyday doesn't help |
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NappyFox Starting Rotation
Joined: 16 Aug 2001 Posts: 251 Location: Cali baby
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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Snipes wrote: | ^Im in the same (bleep) situation. It's so tough Also, the fact that I see her everyday doesn't help |
Man sometimes you just want to say the hell with her but when you see her or think of her with another guy it's like a stab in the heart.....ugggh i hate this feeling.........maybe i should just drink my sorrows away. |
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cr8zy0 Starting Rotation
Joined: 02 Jun 2005 Posts: 820 Location: Los Angeles & Philadelphia
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 8:07 pm Post subject: |
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^ dont drink ur sorrows away drink up some happy thoughts theres a differnce. just go have a good time _________________ SMUSH FOR MVP |
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Alpha Moderator
Joined: 07 Jul 2002 Posts: 25155 Location: hawaii
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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Allow yourself the time to ... well, grieve. It's normal and necessary.
Actually later you'll understand that the best couples are two people who are whole themselves... use the time alone to start filling your life with things to fulfil yourself. Work on your body (health, fitness, sports), mind (schooling, self-help books, yes even relationship books), getting your finances in order, etc. As you build these areas you'll find that others are more attracted to you and you'll make a better mate.
hang in there... life will move on. |
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NappyFox Starting Rotation
Joined: 16 Aug 2001 Posts: 251 Location: Cali baby
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 9:09 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks alpha for the suggestions....I've been doing everything you said but still it seems like I'll never get over this feeling. I was 100% sure that i was gonna marry this girl and this is just something that I never thought would happen..kinda in shock...well I guess we'll see how it goes. |
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ToughKarl Star Player
Joined: 09 Jun 2004 Posts: 1101 Location: Orange County
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 10:55 pm Post subject: |
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Alpha wrote: | Allow yourself the time to ... well, grieve. It's normal and necessary.
Actually later you'll understand that the best couples are two people who are whole themselves... use the time alone to start filling your life with things to fulfil yourself. Work on your body (health, fitness, sports), mind (schooling, self-help books, yes even relationship books), getting your finances in order, etc. As you build these areas you'll find that others are more attracted to you and you'll make a better mate.
hang in there... life will move on. |
Excellent advice!!! very wise. |
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TheRod Star Player
Joined: 24 Dec 2003 Posts: 2019
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 11:11 pm Post subject: |
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I'm in the same position as you are. I got dumped 2 months ago for a VERY superficial reason (at least in my eyes it was), and it's been tough.
Alpha's advice is FANTASTIC.
I've been going to the gym a lot. It helps....but hanging out with friends and family always makes me feel better. Surround yourself with people that are close to you....and for gods sake DO NOT stay at home alone!
Funny story.....I had flashbacks this past weekend...and it really made me depressed. Anyway, I had a doctor's appointment on yesterday (monday) and I practically fell in LOVE with my new doctor......now I can't stop thinking about her......that just absolutely lifted all the pain and suffering I was going through...and now when I think about my ex....it doesn't hurt....because I'm thinking about this HOT doctor.
It does take time....but once someone catches your eye....it becomes a different feeling....a good one.
Keep your head up dude! |
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Alpha Moderator
Joined: 07 Jul 2002 Posts: 25155 Location: hawaii
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:13 am Post subject: |
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^good advice as well... family and friends... just try to find the fun/joy in life.
Nappy... as corny as it sounds... if it is meant to be it will happen. Perhaps this is necessary for both of you to grow so that it will happen later... OR... it may be a blessing as if this actually isn't the gal for you then better to move on now as the hurt would be worse for both later.
... and heck, hold on... the Laker season will start soon! That is the best mind/time filling activity for me
btw, feel free to pm me any time. |
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Flight Star Player
Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Posts: 4740 Location: The OC
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 7:53 am Post subject: |
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Sorry to hear about that, Nappyfox, Snipes, and Therod.
Relationships are tough. Especially when someone who committed themselves to you suddenly doesn't want it anymore. I know the feeling. I've been there.
Everything that Alpha said was awesome advice. The first thing to do is to understand that everything is meant to be the way it happens. So most likely, there IS someone out there who is better for you. All you have to do is be patient and understand that there is something far greater out there. Secondly, don't ever sit alone at home and sulk and think about things. Keep yourself busy and continue to distance yourself from those thoughts and memories. Hang out with friends, family, exercise, try new things. Try to embrace the available time that you have and make yourself a better, more well-rounded individual. Eventually, with enough time passing by, you'll feel stronger and more independent, and you won't feel so bad anymore. I only speak off of experience. I got dumped in the worst way and I was so depressed. But I realized that life is life and I can't sit there sulking. I had to do something and make something happen. Eventually, I found someone so much better. Almost like upgrading from John Celestand to Kobe.
Stay strong guys. The worst should be over already. Think positive. |
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ShadyG Star Player
Joined: 10 Nov 2002 Posts: 3100 Location: Philadelphia, PA
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:35 am Post subject: |
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I went through something similar. I was unemployed at the time (no, that's not why we broke up), and searching for a new job anyway, so I just broadened my search. Figured I'd like to go anywhere with a beach, so I started looking at Australia, New Zealand, Nice, Hawaii...basically lots of places far away to start over. I ended up staying in the US, but moving 3000 miles to Ft. Lauderdale.
It turned out great for me. It probably helped that I'm one of those introverts who thrive on being alone most of the time, so I didn't mind the empty apartment. Though in retrospect I did spent a lot of nights on the sofa, not wanting to be in the bed. Anyway, I made new friends, settled into a new job, and had no girlfriend for almost 2 years. Then I met the woman who would become my wife, and mother of my child. So essentially, there's bad and there's good, and (bleep) happens. Move on from the bad (maybe not to the extreme I did), and grab the good as it comes. After a while you'll notice that the good has built up because you've collected it, and the bad is just events that pass as you cast them off. _________________ Nerd rock in progress.
http://briangraymusic.com/?toptab=1 |
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Laker_Town Retired Number
Joined: 26 Jun 2006 Posts: 25604
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:56 am Post subject: |
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how old are you? prob still young Dont worry about it too much. If its meant youll find a way back. If not, YOURE YOUNG and theres plenty...I know youve heard it before, but there really IS plenty more out there.
Trust me, dont lock down so fast so quick. Let it come to you.. |
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Steez Starting Rotation
Joined: 20 Feb 2006 Posts: 233
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:09 am Post subject: |
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it'll be hard to get over 7 years man... I was with a girl for 5 years... I still think about her, but not as much... cuz shes married with a kid and am married with a kid.
It'll just take time, its true when they say time heals everything... just try ur best to get ur mind off of it and you will soon meet someone else, and you'll be like wtf? I wasted 7 years there! but you will never forget them....
Just an informational |
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brutella Star Player
Joined: 05 Jul 2006 Posts: 2827 Location: OC
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:14 am Post subject: |
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Infamous quote from my friend
"b****'s come n go, but your boyz are always there, even after you leave them for the time you are with her"
Alpha gave you great advice, not just to get over the chick but just plain good ol advice to be happier. Spend more time with your boys, go out and meet new people.
This post reminds me of another post I read on another forum. A poster asked if people believed in Soul mates. What do you guys think?
I believe that there are many many girls out there I can be happy with for the rest of my life, however I do believe that there is only one that would make me more happier than anybody ever could, that one that is perfect for only one other. Would I ever meet her? Who knows, but some people seem to believe they have met and marry their so called soul mate, but I think it rarely happens. Thoughts? |
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NappyFox Starting Rotation
Joined: 16 Aug 2001 Posts: 251 Location: Cali baby
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:51 am Post subject: |
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Hey thanks for the input guys, its a lot of help. Its day 2 and things are still kinda hard but the pains not so bad. It just stinks starting all over and (bleep) but i guess I have to go back out there to the market and find another soulmate . It helps getting my thoughts out there too so thanks for listening guys. |
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LakersSpirit Franchise Player
Joined: 13 Apr 2001 Posts: 13619 Location: West Los Angeles
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:41 am Post subject: |
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If there was anything real there, it will probably blossum again... Given the chance... Especially, since you will probably bump into each other, eventually.
There's a school of thought, however, that we tend to change, every 7 years, or so... It may have run its course...?? _________________ "Teamwork is a nebulous thing. It is as ephemeral as love, disappearing at the latest insult.".... Phil Jackson |
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LaLakers999 Star Player
Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 1103
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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7 years??? (bleep)..... If I was a chick I would break up with you too if it took that long to get a ring on the finger.... remember a girls clock is ticking you cant be selfish and always think about yourself!!!! |
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NappyFox Starting Rotation
Joined: 16 Aug 2001 Posts: 251 Location: Cali baby
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:22 pm Post subject: |
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Lakers999 wrote: | 7 years??? (bleep)..... If I was a chick I would break up with you too if it took that long to get a ring on the finger.... remember a girls clock is ticking you cant be selfish and always think about yourself!!!! |
You're right...its just that when i was with her for the first couple of years I wasn't financially set to get married. Now I'm doing alright and was planning on getting married within a year or two and something like this happens. |
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LaLakers999 Star Player
Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 1103
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:42 pm Post subject: |
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NappyFox wrote: | Lakers999 wrote: | 7 years??? (bleep)..... If I was a chick I would break up with you too if it took that long to get a ring on the finger.... remember a girls clock is ticking you cant be selfish and always think about yourself!!!! |
You're right...its just that when i was with her for the first couple of years I wasn't financially set to get married. Now I'm doing alright and was planning on getting married within a year or two and something like this happens. |
getting married in a year or two is fine....but PROPOSE NOW!!!!!! give her the ring NOW and then plan the wedding 1-2 years...... A girl likes to feel secure a little its her life too brother!! |
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Kobe>Lebron Star Player
Joined: 20 Aug 2002 Posts: 3571
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:45 pm Post subject: |
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NappyFox wrote: | Lakers999 wrote: | 7 years??? (bleep)..... If I was a chick I would break up with you too if it took that long to get a ring on the finger.... remember a girls clock is ticking you cant be selfish and always think about yourself!!!! |
You're right...its just that when i was with her for the first couple of years I wasn't financially set to get married. Now I'm doing alright and was planning on getting married within a year or two and something like this happens. |
Did she dump you or was it mutual? That makes a huge difference. _________________ "I was laying myself on the line by saying, if this doesn't work in three to four years, if we're not back on the top then I will step down because that means I have failed,"
Jim Buss (2013) |
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NappyFox Starting Rotation
Joined: 16 Aug 2001 Posts: 251 Location: Cali baby
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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Did she dump you or was it mutual? That makes a huge difference.[/quote]
Well she dumped me out of nowhere so I guess that means I should just suck it up and move on then huh? |
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LaLakers999 Star Player
Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 1103
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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NappyFox wrote: | Did she dump you or was it mutual? That makes a huge difference.
Well she dumped me out of nowhere so I guess that means I should just suck it up and move on then huh? |
she dumped you out of no where because your dumbass was taking too long to commit.. Bro! women want to be secure, its there life as well!
if you love her? and want to wake up to her every day for the next of your life, BE FAITHFuL to her, willing to die for her, then get a freaking RING and do the damn thing!!!! |
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